Bunny, the Killer Thing (2015)

** Contains spoilers - but none that could spoil your enjoyment of this film, for it is not possible to enjoy it on any level.  Also some trigger warnings: rape and sexual assault **

If you ever get the chance to see a Finnish film called Bunny, the Killer Thing - don't.

Longer version: I watched it recently on Shudder and wrote a review so caustic it seems they have pulled the film altogether.  Long may it stay pulled.

In short: a giant crazy rabbit with a huge schlong terrorizes a group of horny teens in a remote cabin.

That makes it sound interesting, a sort of lurid parody of every slasher film ever made.  It isn't, and it isn't.  Don't see it.

Longer version: an unidentified man and a woman arrive at an isolated cabin.  They are surprised to discover there are already people there.  They are even more surprised when they are tasered, and the woman shot in the head with a shot gun.  At least, for her, the ordeal is over.  her partner is injected with a Mysterious Serum which gives him super strength and appears to be causing other physical changes.  Fighting off his tormentors, he runs off into the darkened forests.

Then a group of unlikeable teens arrive at a cabin, get wasted and start shedding their clothes.  Again, I am in danger of making this sound more interesting than it is.  I'm as much a fan of gratuitous nudity as anyone, but this is not at all titillating.  Even the horny teenage voyeur leering from the cupboard at the lesbian sexual assault taking place in front of him seems bored by it all.

At some point the unfortunate fellow from the opening sequence shows up, now wholly transformed into a giant rabbit, and possessed of a foot long swinging big dick with which he proceeds to molest and murder the occupants of the cabin, roaring "PUSSY!!!" as he does so.

I swear I am not making this up.

So, where to begin?  And, indeed, why bother beginning at all with a film so lacking in any merits?

First, the physical deficiencies of the film.  This is a story about a giant horny rabbit with a large dong.  The rabbit is ... terrible.  The massive willy is even worse.  The whole thing plays an awful joke, only the joke should end when the shitty rabbit is revealed to ridicule.  Instead, the 'joke' carries on for interminable ages afterwards, as we watch the world's shittiest pretend rabbit rampage.  Instead of shock or horror, or even laughter, we are simply left ... unimpressed by the efforts of the film makers.  Their rubbish 'special effects' only inspire boredom and contempt, which are not emotions generally associated with a successful horror film.

The film is poorly written and acted.  The screenplay doesn't make sense even by the standards of Z grade horror garbage.  Trust me - I have watched many Troma Films and have a sneaky fondness for them.  This does not even rise to the lowly bar they set.  The cast seem to be in a trance - either drugged by the film makers to elicit compliance, or perhaps resigned to the knowledge this was their one chance, and their careers will be forever blighted by association with the trash.

But the problems of the film go deeper than a crappy rabbit suit, shit script and wooden performances.  Running through the film is a coarse sexism and racism that would likely have looked out of place in the depths of the 1980s, and seems almost alien in 2022.

Bluntly, this is a film about rape.  continual, enthusiastically performed rape by a giant savage rabbit hollering  "PUSSY!!!" as it mauls its - mostly female - victims to death.  Now, the horror genre has often walked a fine line here, and often put its foot on the wrong side of that line.  The frontal shot of PJ Soles's luckless Lynda being totally strangled by Michael Myers is pertinent example.  A film which is saying something - not matter how clumsy and muddled - about male voyeurism and misogynistic violence indulging in a moment of the same.  You could, if you were very generous, argue Carpenter is trying to confront us with our own hypocrisy as we try to catch a glimpse of Lynda's nipples as she is throttled in front of us.  

But Bunny doesn't have any sort of defense like this.  We have no interest in the characters.  Because the acting is so bad, we can't feel sympathy for their terror and we can't really imagine ourselves being in a similar situation.  It's misogynistic sexual violence presented as comedy.  The last defense of the gross out comedy - "We're trying to confront the audience with their own sickness, laughing at this" - doesn't work here because this film is such a very, very unfunny bunny.  The audience's natural reactions are contempt, boredom and disdain.

And then there is the racism.  One of the characters is black.  This is constantly referenced throughout the film, with one of the other characters insisting on referring to him as "Mr Black" (and requiring the black character to call in "Mr White" in return.)  I'm okay with that, as it highlights the stupidity of the character.  but the film makers join in, with the climactic battle with the rabbit being decided when Mr Black rips down his pants to reveal his own, even more mighty manhood, with which he whips the bunny into submission.  Yup, they ended their film with a "Black men have big dicks" joke.

So, to summarise: don't see this film.  I will watch trash and love it.  I will watch films described as sick, depraved or wicked and try to find something admirable in them.  I will find something to like in the unlikeable.  I found nothing - nothing at all - to like in Bunny, the Killer Thing.  It smacked of being the film a bunch of depraved 14 year old boys would make if they were given a camera and a bunch of actors who - for reasons beyond comprehension - were willing to go along with the it.

Just.  Don't.

STAR RATING: NO STARS